Advice you didn't ask for....

I wrote this for my students. There are some commas missing but whatever.


I know I have said this but it is important to repeat things that need to be heard. I loved being your teacher this year and getting to be a part of your lives. I know that you all have a bright and exciting future ahead of you.

I want to leave you with some advice based off my experiences and also from observing and teaching you this year.

1. Your ability is not measured by how quick you do something as much as it is by how well you do something. Take the time you need and always do your personal best. Take pride in your work.

2. Slow down! This mirrors the first piece of advice but it extends outside of the classroom. Take the time to enjoy where you are and what you are doing at that moment. Time starts flying the older you get and you want to have as many happy memories as possible to think fondly about.

3. Don’t measure yourself against someone else’s success. This is hard to do because everybody wants to compare themselves to their family, peers, and heroes. The reality is that you are not them and your strengths will be different from theirs. Sometimes you have to work harder at something than other people and sometimes it takes you longer and that is okay.

4. It’s okay to fail. Yes, failure happens. The thing you must do is learn from your failure and figure out how not to do it again. Failure is a better teacher than success; even if it hurts a little bit.

5. Work hard. To become better at anything you must put in work. People that are successful put in work to become successful. Rock stars aren’t born they practice all the time to be as good as they are. This is the same for athletes, scientists, entrepreneurs, and teachers. To be good at anything you must put in a lot of time and effort.

6. Pursue things you love even if they are hard and you are terrible at them. I love art and I want to be good at it. Some of you may be convinced that I am but I am still learning and have a ways to go. I have worked hard to be at the level I am and I have enjoyed the process. Another passion I have, when I am home, is basketball but you would never know it by watching me; I am completely awful at it. When I play regularly I am able to perform decently but I won’t ever be good enough to suddenly be recruited by the NBA. It is okay that I will never become a basketball star because of how enjoyable playing a game or shooting baskets is for me.

7. Give younger friends and family a break. You already include the younger kids in the games you play even though a lot of the times they ignore the rules or don’t know them. It can be annoying, I get it. Especially those times when they follow, surround and annoy you on purpose. Understand that it comes from an honest belief that you are cool and that they want you to like them. So be cool. Every once in a while go over and seek them out. Not only let them play but pick the little kids first sometimes; even the most annoying ones. You do it to a certain extent already because you are all amazing, just push it a little further. There was a time in your life or a person in your life that you looked up to, if you still look up to them, was it because they told you that you were annoying or was it because they occasionally took you under their wing?

I could probably go on for ever (I think you all have witnessed this in class) but I think I passed on some of the most important ideas.

I expect great things from everyone of you. Of course, greatness can only be defined by the individual. Pursue your dreams and forge the path that will make you happy.

Thanks for letting me be your teacher.

Let me say it....

Do you ever feel irritated by how people carry themselves when you get near the end of a working relationship? Then, as you look back over the year, you realize it isn't anything new and that they did it all along? Which means what changed is you? It isn't that you changed the level you expect from people because you don't expect more at the end. Not after the disappointments you went through earlier with them. It's just that you never really noticed that their way of handling things is to just blurt out things when it is convenient for them. They don't really think about how it should be handled, that there are more parties involved, or merely the more professional approach. It could be that you notice it because now it directly involves you. So you are irritated and you say something to your confidant and they remind you of every little thing that has happened this year; some of which you complained to her about. You relive all those small irritations and you see that there is a fundamental problem in how the people you work with communicate; or more accurately, the way they fail to communicate.

The problem is that you feel conflicted now. You actually enjoy what you have done and you want to enjoy every moment that you have left. Except at the same time your newly opened eyes have made you hyper aware of the failings. The fact that you are less then 3 weeks from being done has made you jumpy. So you feel irritated and ready to be done with everything; but at the same time you don't want to be. It isn't fair for you or the people you are there for. So you just keep refocusing but you are close to emotionally drained and then the refocusing gets interrupted by their failure to communicate schedule altering plans. Of course when you mention it to them they think 'sour grapes'. 

So here it is.

"My students should hear that I am leaving from me and not your fucking newsletter!"

"God damn it! You knew for over a month that some recycling folks were coming to steal my afternoon and you failed to tell me! How do you not get why that pisses me and my cohort off?"

Let's be real, I am mostly disappointed in myself. I am the one who didn't pay attention earlier; letting all the small irritations slide. It is my fault that the small issues, the ones I didn't address and keep occurring, are making me whine and lash out now. I have put some of these thoughts in to writing with the hope that the effort benefits the one who stays and the one who replaces. Of course the suggestions were not met completely openly. "When I hear of a problem I fix it" says she; but the reality is that she is shooting down the very suggestions she asked us to provide. To the next year's staff, good luck.